Catch-up

It's been a long time since my last post, and Elliott has changed so much! His eyes are still blue and his happy demeanor remains - but just about everything else has changed. He can now stay in a seated position on his own for a short time (once we put him there!); he uses a saucer in the kitchen in the morning when I'm eating breakfast so he can stand (supported) and play with toys rather than sitting back in the little bouncy chair - in fact, he usually wants to be upright rather than laying down.

We started him on solid foods a couple of weeks ago - rice cereal at first, then we added smooshed bananas, the I think next came some sweet peas, and he's done carrots, sweet potatoes, and apples we just introduced last night for the first time.

He got his first tooth on New Year's day, which was quickly followed by a second right next to it, both on the bottom. He loves to put everything he can grab in his mouth - and he can grab a lot! We now have to be very careful about what's close to him because he'll reach out for anything in the blink of an eye.

He's become quite vocal as well - he'll lie in his crib in the morning and make all kinds of fun happy sounds. His variety of cries has increased - there's "I'm mildly annoyed" and "I don't want to go to sleep" and "I want food right now!". I can get him to laugh in short little bursts by hiding below his changing table or crib, or behind a door, and suddenly appearing - it's quite fun to do.

Gosh, I'm not sure what else, there has been so much - he's quite a bit bigger, we just moved to number 3 diapers, but he could probably still fit in the number two's. And he has moved beyond a variety of devices we use to carry or hold him, which is sad to me, as he will no longer be so small. For example, his first carrier that doubled as a car seat and also clicked into a stroller is too small, so we had to get two new car seats, one for each car, and a new stroller. He can still fit in his little swing, but it won't be long until he's too big for that. Even his new jumper I can see won't be around forever. What everyone says is true - it goes by so quickly.

Sleep is still a challenge - he goes down around 7pm, but will awaken once before midnight and have a full bottle, and then at least once between 1am and 5am, and sometimes he stays awake for awhile. Renée takes him during that time, and is more often now just comforting him rather than feeding him - which seems to be working. However, the full night of sleep that we keep hearing about and dreaming about remains elusive.

We were in Hawaii a few weeks ago and he loved the warm weather - he got to go in the pool and the ocean for the first time, which was a thrill for all of us.

That's it for now - Mark

3 months old today!

He's turning into such a little boy, it's quite amazing to watch him develop. 12 pounds now, 24 inches tall, eyes are still blue, hair is still there, a little more, kind of brown.

His routine now is to wake up around 6am almost every morning...I'll feed him and change him and put him in the little bouncy seat in the bathroom while I take a shower and then keep him with me while I get dressed and make breakfast, giving Renée a little more sleep time because she took the night feedings, of which there are usually now just one. After she's up, she takes him so I can go to work.

During the day he's much more active and alert between shorter naps (although sometimes he has long hard naps as well). We take him out in the Bjorn which he hated at first but now really likes...he like to look around and check everything out. His neck is getting much stronger, it's fun to just sit him up and watch him look around. He's starting to swat and grasp at object, but just barely...still doesn't seem to get his hands and how they work, but you can see how his fingers open and close and "play the piano"....it's coming. We have a fun game where I grab his feet when he's on his back and we play kick kick.

Nights he usually has a meltdown around 6 or 7pm, a good hard cry, usually only a few minutes, and then falls fast asleep. He make awaken a few more times, or he's down for the next 6 or 7 or 8 hours. Last night was a new record, he went over 10 hours between feedings, hooray! I fed him at 5:30pm, he went to sleep around 7, and didn't wake up until 4am.

Right now it's a rainy Saturday early afternoon...I just fed him and he's sleeping peacefully on the bed next to Renée, who is readying. A wonderful warm cosy scene.

So we made it to the three month mark, and it's true what they say...it does get easier. Getting more sleep helps so much I can't tell you. And he's getting more and more fun to interact with every day...cooing and laughing and squawking and making all kinds of sounds...and smiling when he sees us...it's really rewarding.

2 months, 4 inches and 3 1/2 pounds

The little bugger is becoming more interactive and he can be quite a bit of fun even though he doesn't even know he's got hands yet. But he has a game he plays with his binky where he likes to drop it when he's lying down and knock it back into his mouth with his hand. And he just stares at his mobile and coos. And he looks at each of us directly now for much longer periods, especially when we are feeding him. Which, by the way, we are still doing 8 or 9 times a day, 1 to 4 ounces at a shot except for one strange day about 2 weeks ago when he had a whopping 6 ounces at one feeding.

But he's going for longer stretches at night, which is quite wonderful. Last night, he ate at 8:30pm and not again until 2:15am. But then again at 4am and 6am...still, we are seeing a shift. He's awake quite often it seems, very much looking around and checking everything out. He gets fussy, seems to be gas usually, or he's frustrated with something....but it passes quickly or it's easy to distract him with some gentle bouncing up and down or walking or putting him in the swing.

So he had a doctor's appointment this week, he's up to 10 pounds 12 ounces and 23.5 inches, really growing. Still seems so small to me. And he got his first shot, one in each little thigh, which he did not like the least bit, according to Renée.

We are both in a perpetual state of sleep deprivation, but it's not horrible. Renée does graveyard shift during the week; tonight I'm on, so I should be sleeping now, but I'm doing some work and wanted to get a few notes in this blog because I've been so remiss.

Hard to explain here what it's like....amazing, mundane, joyful, exasperating, exhausting, exhilirating, ever-changing...and worth all the difficulties to get here. It's just what we do now, feels very natural. He's the focus of our lives, and it feels good and right...very hard sometimes for sure, but very good. And this from the dad who is working quite a bit and not getting to spend nearly as much time with him. Mornings, nights, sometimes stealing a little mid-day visit when I can..and good time on the weekends together.

4 weeks old yesterday

It's Saturday morning 8am, I've been up pretty much since 2:30am. Renée takes the night feedings during the week so I can get enough sleep to work, then I do some relief duty on the weekends.

Mostly he's been sleeping in longer stretches recently, up to almost 4 hours at a time, but at night it's more like 2 hours between feedings, and sometimes it takes a long time to get him back to sleep, like last night.

But he's doing great. Had a doctor's appointment on Wednesday, he's up to 8 pounds 9 ounces, that's 19 ounces more than two weeks before, and 23 ounces more than he was born. And he's grown a full inch, up to 20.5 inches.

Right now he's in his little sack, sprawled open on our bed, out cold for the time being but we'll see how long it lasts.

We are both sleep-deprived but not as bad as it was the first two weeks. He is awake and alert for longer periods, looking all around, making a cute little "o" with his mouth. Sometimes he stares right at me when I'm feeding him with great intensity; othertimes he stares at some shadow or what looks to be nothing at all with equal intensity. Sometimes he eats with his eyes closed shut.

Feeding, burping, diaper changing, making formula, washing bottles...it's all becoming more routine, integrated into our daily life. Or should I say taking over our daily life! During the week I'm working, often here at home so I can see him occassionally during the day.

I had a moment earlier in the week when he was quiet, just staring at me, and I got the feeling he was starting to realize that I was a person, that I was somehow like him, and not just an object that appeared and made him comfortable with food or diaper changes or body warmth. It felt like the beginning of a connection and was really quite amazing.

Sleep is a wondeful thing

Yes, last night had two back-to-back sessions of over 2 hours solid sleep, very nice, very wonderful. Keeping the little monkey awake more during the day seems to be working. Renée is spending lots of time playing with him after diaper changes while he's awake and looking all around. At night he seems to wake up the most, he loves to look at the light and shadows. He stares wide-eyed and rolls his head around, then seems to stare right at me, then suddenly lids come down...then maybe open again. Quite a little show. he does a double sneeze, he gets hiccups after he eats, and he likes to kick his skinny legs out long and straight.

We put him back in the sling last night after dinner and took a little walk in the humid twighlight along the canal behind the hotel. We saw a toad and crickets jumping across the path and fireflies lighting up the banks. He didn't see any of this of course, cocooned away deep in his sling. But he seems to like being all squashed up in there.

This hotel living is not bad, really, but we are both ready to go home and see our family and friends...and have them help us too! Although he has been so good. Only last night after his 10pm feeding, at about 11 he had a little episode, seemed to be very uncomfortable and unhappy...took a little more formula and settled down and slept solidly, as did we, until 2:30 which was so nice...then slept again until 6am.

Thankfully it hasn't been terribly hot here as they tell us it usually is....perhaps we can go out again today. Got my work done early this morning, though I have so much left to do...and 4 possible new jobs came up yesterday. Saying yes to everything, sort it out later.

Sleep? What's that?

He's probably the most quiet perfect baby that ever was, but still he eats every 2 to 4 hours and takes 30 to 60 minutes to do it including the bottle making and burping and changing, so I'm starting to get used to operating in a perpetual state of semi-consciousness.

Here were his feeding times over the past 24 hours or so starting with last night:
6:30pm
9:30pm
12:30am
3:30am
5:30am
7:45am
(here we went to breakfast in the hotel lobby which we've been doing every morning, then came back and crashed out, all three of us)
10:40am
1:30pm
4:20pm
7:00pm
10:35pm (that's right now)

We've kept him awake more today after feedings and changings, unswaddling him and playing with him. He really seems to enjoy just looking around. And this afternoon he slept on my chest for an hour or so, his naked belly on my bare chest, laying sideways, feet draped off my ribs, both of us sleeping soundly. Very, very wonderful.

Right now I'm pretty tired, but he and Renée have been sleeping hard and now he's filling up so I'm hoping for a few good hours before the next feeding.

Tired? You bet. Worth it? You bet. Okay, here we go...on into the night...

Hanging out in Texas with little Ethan Elliott

First thing I did when we arrived at the Marriott Residence Inn on South University in Fort Worth was to set up our technology infrastructure: an airport express hooked up to the hotel's wired high-speed internet access to create a local wireless network for each of our laptops; the iPod in a base on the microwave and plugged into little speakers sitting on top of the fridge; a battery charger for the video camera. Renée is all set up on the kitchen counter and I have a workspace on a small desk tucked in the corner, with a hard drive on the floor containing my video project I'm working on for one of my clients. I even had to go to Albertson's and buy 3 plug adapters that turned the 2 socket plugs into 6 sockets because we have so much stuff to plug in...computers, network device, cell phones, hard drive, chargers, iPod...crazy, but now we have a fully functional office and communications center.

But who cares about all that. Day before yesterday we brought little Ethan Elliot home. Before that we spent some wonderful amazing time in the hospital with our birthmother, but since this blog is about being a father, I'll cover the adoption part of things elsewhere. Suffice it to say that we are both incredibly happy and tired parents learning as we go and discovering this amazing little creature.

Although Renée is doing most of the changing an feeding, I'm doing a good amount myself and I feel like I'm getting reasonably good at making up the bottle, feeding and burping him, and changing his diaper. We are really lucky because he is so calm and easy going...he cries a little when he is hungry or when we are changing him but he stops very quickly once he is either being fed or is swaddled back up.

So far being a new dad is great. I worry about my work, I've been over on the computer, doing my conference calls, editing, etc...worry about money...but I'm so excited about being his dad and thinking about all the things we are going to do together, all the things I get to teach him.

Since he's been here, we've been making more modifcations to our living space...I replaced all the 100 watt bulbs with 40 or 60 watts; the office loaned us an office chair that doesn't really rock but it does swivel which isn't half-bad...and we've been keeping the place dark and playing lots of soft music...Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, Nina Simeone. It's actually quite nice in here, although it really helps to get out. Just had a soup and sandwich dinner at a place called Panera's across the highway (there's a bicycle/walking path that goes under so you don't have to cross it) and we had a nice stroll along the rather stanky-looking river. Beautiful warm evening, sky streaked with clouds, folks riding and roller blading on the path and Elliott tucked into his little sling over my shoulder. Feeling very tired, but life is good.